To be loved is to be destroyed
by erinlightwoodbane
Summary: Alec finds out the hard way, in the words of his parabatai Jace, 'To be loved is to be the one destroyed' Set just after the Malec breakup *sobs*


**I've had this stuck in my head all day so I figured I would try writing it up. I'm gonna be uploading the next chapter of 'Blessed by an angel' today I think... I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm just one huge piece of Malec trash...**

 **All rights belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare!**

 **Review and enjoy!**

 **ALEC POV:  
**

Alec didn't want to die. He wanted to live. He wanted to look into those gorgeous golden green eyes and tell his love how much he loved him. But now he couldn't. And it was all his fault. What Alec had done, wasn't a mistake, it had been a complete and utter catastrophe, and because of his choices, it had led to Alec losing the only man he had ever really loved.

Magnus Bane.

The name alone made his heart flutter.

Demons surrounded Alec, hurling themselves at him, clawing and swiping at him with their sharp claws. Despite being a well trained shadowhunter, he doubted even Jace could hold off a number of demons this big.

And yet Alec still fought. Not for himself, because now that Magnus had left him, Alec had nothing to live for. But for Jace, Izzy and even Clary.

Jace and Izzy would probably mourn over his death for a while but they would move on.

Jace and Clary had a strong, indestructible bond and Alec knew that although he was his parabatai, Jace cared much more about Clary than Alec...

And then there was Izzy. His strong and beautiful sister who would lose yet another brother but would still put up a brave front and carry on living her life alongside Simon. Although Alec didn't particularly like the idea of them together, Simon took good care of her and that was all Alec could ask of him.

Alec spun, dragging his gleaming, bloodstained sword through a demons throat, tearing through its skin like it was paper.

Alec could feel blood on the side of his hip from where a demon had raked it's claw down the whole length of his torso.

And despite the fact, it hurt like hell, Alec carried on fighting but the loss of blood from the wound was taking its toll on Alec's already wrecked body.

His vision was blurred and his head pounded but nothing could hide the fact that Alec could see a tall figure in a long, glittery purple cloak moving towards him at a remarkable speed.

Blue flames fired from his outstretched hands, and his beautiful eyes were hard and determined.

The man strutted- literally strutted- past the monsters threatening Alec's well being and soon he was at Alec's side and as he came closer, he saw tears in the man's eyes.

Magnus stood infront of him now, his eyes sad and somewhat desperate.

Alec opened his mouth to say something- to tell him how sorry he was when Magnus pressed his lips against his own. Magnus wrapped his arms around the younger boy and Alec leaned into his touch. Magnus's lips were soft and warm, and at that moment nothing mattered but Magnus.

The world seemed to slow down and alec wrapped his arms around the back of the warlock's neck, kissing him passionately.

"I'm so sorry." Alec said when they drew apart.

They were still in their tight embrace, their foreheads touching.

"I know." Magnus whispered softly. "But... it was my fault. I- I was too scared to tell you about my past when you told me all about you and I'm so sorry my darling Alexander."

Alec was shocked to say the least. That was definitely not true.

He opened his mouth to disagree when Magnus interrupted him yet again by saying, " You're going to say it was your fault not mine but I contacted an old friend who showed me your meetings with Camille and what you were feeling and now I know that you were never going to go through with it and you just wanted to know about me and-"

Alec cut him off with a soft kiss which sealed the silent agreement to be together once again.

Alec was delighted as he looked up at Magnus with a bright smile.

Magnus blushed.

Alec stared up at him, mouth agape. Alec was the one who blushed, not _Magnus_!

"See something you like?" Magnus asked, eyes twinkling.

"Yes." Alec responded blushing.

-That was the last moment that everything was okay.

Alec never saw it coming, and from the look of horror on Magnus's face, neither had he. Alec felt it before he saw it.

Pain spread through the entirety of his chest as he was kissing Magnus yet again.

Alec looked down, and gasped at what he saw.

A demon had struck him from behind, and it's long tail was protruding from Alec's chest. It was spiked and the pain was excruciating. The demonic creature lifted him off his feet, attempting to shake Alec off it. The pain grew as Alec felt its tail moving around.

Finally, it let go and dropped Alec onto the ground, his head hitting the ground with a thump.

Magnus was there in an instant, blasting the demon back into whatever hellish dimension it had came from.

Alec was dimly aware of Magnus screaming his name but he couldn't concentrate.

Magnus grabbed Alec and held him in his arms, crying.

Alec couldn't believe it.

He had never seen Magnus cry before.

He wondered why he was doing it now.

But then, one look at Magnus and then back at the wound in his body, Alec knew why.

He was going to die.

And this time, Magnus couldn't save him.

When Alec opened his mouth, crimson red blood spilling from his lips.

The pain had disappeared, replaced by a numbness which was somehow worse than the pain.

Magnus was still screaming and it hurt Alec's ears but he didn't have the heart to tell him to stop. He doubted he would be able to say anything at all.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jace kneel next to him, tears falling from his golden eyes.

he try to smile at him but somehow didn't have the strength.

He felt the end coming, blackness closing in on him from all angles.

"I love you so much. Please don't leave me." Magnus sobbed.

Alec could feel his heart breaking. Alec realised then that he didn't want to die. He wanted to spend his life with Magnus but he knew that he couldn't.

And so, before the darkness could take him, Alec whispered his final words, tears falling from his eyes, "Aku cinta kamu."

And then the darkness over took him and enveloped him in its arms and his eyes closed.

They never opened again.


End file.
